Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in kaitlyn Amira's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 5th, 2009
7:42 pm	Ooo, so preeeety On Monsieur's Departure I grieve and dare not show my discontent, I love and yet am forced to seem to hate, I do, yet dare not say I ever meant, I seem stark mute but inwardly do prate. I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned, Since from myself another self I turned.  My care is like my shadow in the sun, Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it, Stands and lies by me, doth what I have done. His too familiar care doth make me rue it. No means I find to rid him from my breast, Till by the end of things it be supprest.  Some gentler passion slide into my mind, For I am soft and made of melting snow; Or be more cruel, love, and so be kind. Let me or float or sink, be high or low. Or let me live with some more sweet content, Or die and so forget what love ere meant.  Queen Elizabeth's most famous, and perhaps most accomplished, poem.  It is popularly known as "On Monsieur's Departure", but there is no evidence  to connect it with the departure from  England of the Queen's last political suitor,  Francis, Duke of  Alencon. Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
11:04 pm	it's about time this world of mine stops spinning I feel really strange. and I'm way too sensitive. I bugged out just slightly on my best friend the other day and I don't exactly know what she thinks of me anymore. And everone thinks I'm a nutcase, probably. Oh wait I forgot, I AM, a nut case. But honestly. Pleasepleaseplease don't hate me. I had a really incredible crap day. and I realize that's no excuse, but we all know Kaitlyn is insecure and pathetic and so needs to be bashed over the head. I love you. Don't leave me alone to fall apart and die. Current Mood: kind of screwed up Current Music: damien Rice - The Professor (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 14th, 2009
11:20 pm	need to update this more often. Doing a list, because I'm lame like that. Dad and I are fighting again, what's new? I'm going to Alberta for like a month with my friend Jessica and I'm perfectly jazzed. yay! Then I'm hopefully spending like 2 or 3 weeks with Simon. Yay for avoiding absolutely everything this summer. woohoo? Tomorrow I'm going out bussing on my own which makes me nervous, but hah, I conquer fear! lol jk. I'm going to see Alanna and Ben. and I shan't fail. Wah,, someone pray for my safety, and sanity. Mo has moved across town from me and I jump at every small noise. I'm a paranoid nut case, I know I know. get over it already. I am an actress, I am, I am, I am! Someone seriously needs to save me from the demons that scream inside my head. Like right now. I'm about as stable as a house of cards in an earthquake. And every second I'm afraid I'm going to colapse. Aaaahhh, heeeelp! Oh, right, I'm Ok. Everything's fine. Sorry, I forgot. I, am, an, actress! Byyye? Current Mood: scrambled Current Music: Various Artists - Mary Ann Kannedy & Charlotte Petersen / The Musical Priest (Charlotte Petersen; Ma (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
6:54 pm	announcement Hey guys, Maria, my new dell laptop, decided that failing her hard drive was a great idea. I really really disagree, but she has the final say in this one. Sooo, we're back on the mommy laptop. I'm using nvda, which is lame, but I'm not allowed to install Jaws, which again, is lame. Thank heaven NVDA doesn't have to rely on any other parts of the mother's computer. Sigh. You guys, well most of you anyway, know my cell phone number. If you need anything, feel free to call me. I hate computers, and apparently they hate me almost as much. Siiiiigh. Love you all, Kaitlyn PS. Wooo, birthday in 3 days, I'm turning nineteen! *bounces in excitement* Current Mood: irritated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
11:56 pm	new song Hey guys, So I've been recording a bit here and there lately, just to pass time away, and I recorded another little diddy for you to enjoy. download it at this link. http://www.sendspace.com/file/ec3zhh I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think, I loves constructive criticism! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Amira - I miss you Miley Cyrus cover (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
12:37 am	Hey Guys, So if you havent' heard, Kaitlyn is single again. I know, I know, stupid, the relationship barely lasted, say what you want. I did it for a lot of reasons, which I feel that I don't have to say on here. I'll say one though, and that is that right now, I'm just not ready for a relationship. Whether you agree with my decision or not, I don't care. It's just the way it is. I think that's all. Current Mood: morose Current Music: Alison Krauss - Teardrops Will Kiss the Morning Dew (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
11:47 am	Heeey guys, Sorry for the lack of existence. I have again pleaded the "no excuse" card, hopefully that works for you. I haven't been doing too mcuh, hanging out with friends, looking at college programs, reading, reading, reading. I'm loving this relaxing thing, but I really wish I had something more to do, like work or go to school or something. Sitting at home is so definitely not my thing. I sorted out some stuff with Mo, which is awesome, and I'm going to see him this weekend. I haven't seen him since April. That's lame. So I'm pretty stoked to see him again. I'm reading "Breaking Dawn" again, and recieved rather a nasty shock when I had a dream about having a wedding exactly likeBella's. I have to remind my weirdly romantic self that I don't want a wedding...like at all. Ugh. I have a mobility lesson today, and it's a lovely sunny day and I'm excited. I absolutely love walking out in the beautiful sun. Yesterday was the same, sunny, peaceful. I sat outside on the step and just meditated for awhile, and I don't remember being so relaxed in a very long time. I think more of that is a good thing, yes? Well I'm about done writing here. I need to do the makeup thing and find a pair of shoes out of the far too many I have piled in my closet. Tootles! Current Mood: happy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 6th, 2009
10:48 pm	glorious day Hey everyone, I've been waiting and waiting for the sun to come out again, since probably October of 2008 and it finally showed its beautiful face today. I sat outside for 3 hours and read a book, while the birds sang and ivan and Molly, our two dogs, played happiuly in the grass. After I'd had enough of reading, I played fetch with Ivan for awhile, and when Savannah came home, she joined in. It was truly wonderful and I found myself feeling free again, almost childlike. It was wonderful. I haven't felt that free in such a long time, to be honest I can't remember the last time I felt that way. With everything going on, it's been really hard for me to just relax. I've tried, honestly, but things haven't been perfect. They're not horrible either of course. Mohammad helps me a lot through some of it, but he only has some idea of the inner struggle that I feel at times. It's really frustrating, trying to keep everything locked in this tiny space of my mind. But I'm getting better at it, I think. So feeling so free and happy for the first time in awhile was a wonderful refreshing change in my sanity, lol. I'm pretty tired, so I think some south park is in order, and then I'll settle down to sleep with a good book and a cup of tea. And, to Mohammad, you are the angel that bathes me in light, every time my heart goes dark. Thank you, I love you. Kaitlyn Amira Current Mood: calm Current Music: Damien Rice - Accidental Babies (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 3rd, 2009
12:59 pm	woohoo! Guys, I have my computer back, I'm so stoked. I justgot it yesterday and it's running well. woo for xp and jaws cracks and other such things. But does anyone have andre Louis's sound scheme setup file? cause I can't find it on his webpage. Someone help? Love the world, Kaitlyn Current Mood: happy Current Music: Billy Gilman - Count On Me (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
6:37 pm	whoooa, it's my theme song. it’s four a.m. again father, forgive me this sin uncomfortable in this life, yeah I can’t put down this knife, yeah I’m carving words in my arms, baby hey, scars are part of my charm, maybe I need the touch of a hand this isn’t what i had planned [Chorus] I need relief from this life I wanna slip away into the night don’t wanna see the sun again but can’t get swallowed up by this tragic whirlwind I wish the ocean was warm I feel like drowning I’m losing my faith in me I can’t remember the last time i felt free from voices inside my head when I taste liberation, they just feed me fear instead you say I’m out of control at least i still have a soul no, I don’t need your advice some compassion would be nice [Chorus] I can’t take any more of your pills they hold my head up but still it feels so wrong I can’t believe the price that I’ve paid for this chemically-induced, perceivably ideal, take-it-with-a-glass-of-water day [Chorus] Current Music: Jay Brannan - Drowning (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 12th, 2009
8:19 pm	kick ass! I was wrong about my appointment, and it's on the 26th! So that means I get to go to Vancouver and see my Mohammad...yeeeees!!! And I love it when things go my way. I believe so hard in positive thinking. Current Mood: yay (2 Comments |Comment on this)
11:59 am	Gotta love emails I recieved this in an email today, thought everyone would like, I did. Magnolias Sent in by Christine We all have a purpose! I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away. As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle. . So many details, so many bills, and so little time. My son Jack was away at college, but he said he would be there to walk his younger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before. He teased Patsy, saying he'd wanted to give her away since she was about three years old! To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green leaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church. After the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, we banked the podium area and choir loft with magnolias. As we left just before midnight, I felt tired but satisfied this would be the best wedding any bride had ever had! The music, the ceremony, the reception - and especially the flowers - would be remembered for years. The big day arrived - the busiest day of my life - and while her bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fiance Tim walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we opened the door and felt a rush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them - all the beautiful white flowers were black. Funeral black. An electrical storm during the night had knocked out the air conditioning system, and on that hot summer day, the flowers had wilted and died. I panicked, knowing I didn't have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding. Tim turned to me. "Edna, can you get more flowers? I'll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements." I mumbled, "Sure," as he be-bopped down the hall to put on his cuff links. Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling. "Lord,' I prayed, 'please help me. I don't know anyone in this town. Help me find someone willing to give me flowers, in a hurry!" I scurried out praying for four things: the blessing of white magnolias, courage to find them in an unfamiliar yard, safety from any dog that may bite my leg, and a nice person who would not get out a shotgun when I asked to cut his tree to shreds. As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance. I approached a house...No dog in sight. I knocked on the door and an older man answered. So far so good.. No shotgun. When I stated my plea the man beamed, "I'd be happy to!" He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down to me. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, "Sir, you've made the mother of a bride happy today." "No, Ma'am," he said. "You don't understand what's happening here." "What?" I asked. "You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday... He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes. "On Wednesday I buried her." He looked away. "On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went back home, and on Friday - yesterday - my children left." I nodded. "This morning," he continued, "I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, as her health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, "Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-out man? Nobody!" I began to cry louder. "Nobody needs me!" About that time, you knocked, and said, "Sir, I need you." I stood with my mouth open. He asked, "Are you an angel? The way the light shone around your head into my dark living room..." I assured him I was no angel. He smiled. "Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?" "No." "I decided I'm needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might have a flower ministry! I could give them to everyone! Some caskets at the funeral home have no flowers. People need flowers at times like that and I have lots of them. They're all over the backyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches - all sorts of places. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!" I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy's wedding day, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, I would have said, "Forget it! It's my only daughter's wedding, for goodness sake! There is no way I can minister to anyone today." But God found a way. Through dead flowers. "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference." May God's blessings be upon you. This is so true, being needed is so uplifting to each of us. Edna Ellison Current Mood: happy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
9:22 pm	just a quick update Hey everyone! Well I must admit, the initial joy of having time off school and work is slowly wearing off. I feel bored a lot of the time, and I seriously wish I had a class or a job, or something to occupy the time I have on my hands. Spending hours and hours a day reading and writing songs or working on my newest novel is all great for awhile, but I've never been someone who can sit around not doing anything. So I'm just hoping I find a part-time job or something soon. I'm part of a job-searching workshop that meets every friday called Tyes. They're really great! They've helped me make up a good resume and are looking for job advertisements around my hometown. I've just got my fingers crossed that we find something I can do. I not only need something to do, but I need money too, lol. I'm registered for Camosun college in September, but I still have to get doctors notes signed for the disability offices and for financial aid. I never realized how much darn paperwork is involved in college registration, it's really annoying. Scholarship applications are still pretty much my existence. If I don't win any money, I'll be really mad, haha. This past sunday I went out with Alanna to volunteer at the Mustard Seed Church and food bank. We made food and fed it to homeless people, and I flt useful and happy. I love hanging out with Alanna and doing good things for the community, it makes me really happy. Hopefully we'll be doing it again this week. I had a bit of a disappointing day today, unfortunately. I'd made plans to spend a few days with Mohammad, watchinng the national junior goal ball tournament and just spending some time together. Well unfortunately that's not going to happen, as I have a really important eye doctor appointment and have to cancel until another weekend. I wasn't impressed, I can tell you. But there's nothing I can do about it, it's very important that I get this shit sorted out. Anyways, I think that's about it, sorry that my life is so uneventful, but there you have it, the life of the unemployed, unschooled Kaitlyn. Current Mood: blah Current Music: Imogen Heap - Just for Now (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 2nd, 2009
1:25 am	Oh, happy day... Kaitlyn is now happily taken again. Yes, gasp, be shocked, whatever. His name is Mohammad, and if you read my livejournal you would know who he is. He is freaking amazing and my life is kicking ass because he's part of it. Read his lj if you're interested at reddragonballz He's one of the sweetest guys I know. It's hard for me to let guys in, even as friends, so the ones that can get me to trust them with my heart, that's rare, and extremely difficult. I just hope we work out, and that everything goes alright. I hope he stays patient with my insanity, and I hope even more that I get to see him soon. Bonus....he lives in Vancouver, only an hours ferry ride away, so score! Love lots, Happy Kaitlyn Current Mood: loved (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 23rd, 2009
3:24 pm	twitter and ping Hey guys, I've joined the twitter fad, I feel very unindividual. My username on there is PrincessKaitlyn so feel free to follow me! I love ping.fm. it's amazing, and so so convenient. Current Mood: happy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
12:43 pm	Awww, cute Wet Pants Come with me to a third grade classroom... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out, he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives. The boy believes that this is the end. He puts his head down and says this prayer: "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat." He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap. The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!" Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All of the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful! But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else, Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you klutz!" Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too..." Current Mood: awake (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 15th, 2009
11:13 am	haha, stole this from Samari 1. YOUR REAL NAME: Kaitlyn 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzle.): Kaiizzle 3. YOUR SPY NAME: (favorite color and favorite animal): black raven 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on): Amira Moyes 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Kerka 6. YOUR SUPERHERO/CRIMINAL NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink): Red pineapple juice? 7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (parents' middle names): Grace Gordon. That's weird. 8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Molly 9. Your ghetto girl name (first 3 letters of your first name and add -iqua): Kaiiqua... 10. Porn Star name: (Name of your first pet and the first street you lived on: Sasha Moyes Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
11:02 am	more puppies, yay! Hi guys! Just a quick entry to let everyone know Jade is coming for a night to deliver 3 or 4 new puppies! Yay! Apparently we might keep one for a few more days, it hasn't been sold yet, but sadly they're bing sold quickly, so that sucks. I have my first tyes workshop on Friday, so I'm pretty stoked about that! Mohammad is coming on the 26th for a couple days while he has an appointment at UVic. Everything is looking so wonderful, I'm totally loving my life! Gotta go, tea's ready and I want waffles, lol. Kaitlyn Amira Current Mood: happy Current Music: A perfect Circle - Weak and Powerless (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
8:34 pm	a survey, have fun with this! Can you answer 83 questions about just one person? 1) What’s their name? Alanna C 2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope. 3) Do you get along with this person all the time? Yes definitely 4) How old is the person? 18 5) Has he/she ever cooked for you? not really, unless you count all of us girls making cinnamon buns at our birthday 6) Is this person older than you? Nope, a few months younger. 7) Have you ever kissed this person? I think I kissed her hand once... 9) Are you related to this person? nope. 10) Are you really close to him/her? extremely 11) Nickname? Lanna, fanny, chicky 12.) Do they have a nickname for you? Chicky I think lol 13) How many times do you talk to this person during a week? like almost every day 14) Will this person repost this? Maybe? 15) Do you live with this person? No, I wish 16) Why is this person your number 1? she's one of my best friends 17) Does this person speak another language? some spanish 18) Do you tell this person secrets? all the time. 19) Have you ever been to the mall with this person? Yep 20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person? lots of them 21) If you ever moved away would you miss this person? definitely 23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person? Um...nope. 24) Do you know everything about this person? I think I know a lot about her. 25) Would you date this person’s siblings? Um...eeewww, gross. You'd have to know Lanna's brother to understand my disgust. 26) Have you ever made out with this person? Aaaagh, no! 29) Have you gone skinny dipping with this person? Nope. But I would feel comfortable doing that. 31) Is this person on drugs? uh, no. 33) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes? Yes, and I want your belmont hoodie. 34) Does this person wear your clothes? yeah sometimes 35) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person? Heck yes! 36) Have you ever heard this person sing? Yes, she's good. 38) Do you and this person have a saying/word? Ert bang. 44.) Have you and this person gone clubbing? No...why do the questions keep bouncing 45) Do you know how to make this person feel happy? I think so. 46) Do you and this person talk a lot? Yup 47) Do you like this person? I love Alanna. 48) Has this person yelled at you? Nope. 49) Have you and this person got into a fist fight? Um...no! 51) Do you want to be friends with them forever? Of course! <3 52) When is the last time you talked to this person? yesterday 53) Do you text this person? nope. 54) Do you and this person talk on the phone? Yep 55) Descibe this person in one word - amazing 56) Does this person like anyone? it's complicated. 57) Have you ever played a sport or watched a sport with this person? not really. 58) Have you met this person's family? Yup, they're really nice. 59) Has this person been to your house? lots. 60) Do you and this person have a special song? Hey Rebekah by the fold, anything by barlow girl, um...lots of songs. 61) Have you told this person you loved them before? lots of times 62) What grade is this person in? graduated 63) Do you hang out with this person on weekends? we try, it doesn't always work cause she has a job. 64) Would you consider this person your best friend? One of them. 65) Do you miss this person? Always 66) Is there a song that describe the relationship between you and this person? Um....It was you, ashley ballard. look it up. 67) Have you danced with this person? just inf un. 68) Do you think this person is going to be surprised you wrote this about them? maybe. 69) How many siblings does this person have? One 70) If so, brother or sister? brother 71) Have you ever cried in front of this person? never. 74) When is the next time you will see this person? Tuesday, yay! 76) Do you trust this person? with everything i have. 77) Does this person trust you? I hope so. 80) Does this person play sports? nope. 81) If so, which sports? look above 82) Have you been to this person's house? lots 83) What's an insider between you two? Um...can't think of anything off the top of my head. Current Mood: sad (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
12:45 pm	I want to dance in the rain I'm back! I know, I know, I've neglected this thing terribly, but I've been stupidly busy. I graduated from high school, and am now filling out scholarship applications and mailing them in. It's torture, but it's important, os it gets done. I'm going to start Tyes soon, just not sure when, I have an appointment in a couple days, so I'm really, really excited. Sitting on my ass all day, not working and not going to school, feels totally awful and I hate it. I'm one of those people who is usually doing something productive, whether it be school, working, recordings, whatever. But as I'm graduated, no job, and my album is on hold until I can downgrade my computer, I've been reading and watching movies most of the day. I'm going to gain weight if I'm not careful, I know it. Sitting on my ass is totally not my thing. Ugh. However, on the other hand, it's been nice to relax and not wake up at 7 AM. Bad that I'm wasting the day away by sleeping, but good, cause I'm really relaxed and happy. I like it, and I think it's done me really good. I"m taking a hell of a lot of medication, and one of them is making my skin dry out and flake. I hate it, but I hate to take the stuff, so whatever. I'm also on birth controll, and hopefully that will make the ovarian cysts go away. If not, I have to have an ovary removed, which means surgery again. Yikes! However, I do have to have eye surgery to remove yet another calcium build up on my right eye. Again, urgh. Doc says I probably have to have it done every 3 to 5 years of my life. I'm not exactly pleased with this idea, so I'm contemplating having one of my eyes removed. Don't know how important it is to have it done, and I know it'll make me look like a cyclopse, but surgery every 3 years really sounds crappy. Ummm, I don't think much else is going on that matters, really. I'm going out with Alanna today, and then hopefully hanging out with Sunset or Crystal this weekend. Yay for a social life. Love lots, Kaitlyn Current Mood: happy (2 Comments |Comment on this)